Tough Mountain Challenge day brings all types of people big and small, tough and not-so-tough. Which one are you? Perhaps a mix or a little bit of them all. One thing is for sure: We know how to have fun.
You know who you are, sporting those sculpted abs, toned arms, and way less clothing than the rest of us. You’re one of those, “I don’t really sweat,” kind of people. Everyone just assumes you’re running the race alone because you either are or you didn’t feel like waiting for your slow-ass teammates to crawl up WTF?!. And at the end of the race, you’re somehow squeaky clean. It’s as if you were even too fast for the mud to attach to you. You bring a level of intensity to the event no one else can tough. You are the reason why we have to keep making the course tougher every year. But that’s okay with us because it keeps us on our toes (and hopefully you too).
If only the shotgun station was a protein shake instead of Bud Light. You’re brand new TMC shirt’s sleeves are missing hours before your heat. (Oh, wait! No…we found them…on your head, bandana-style.) You jump in front of every camera you see and holler like a crazed gorilla with a not-so-endearing mating call. You’ve already done 17 other Spartacus-like races so the Tough Mountain should be easy. And you’ll tell us this at least 17 times. High-fives down the Slip, Slide ‘n’ Die? Nah. You’re the fist-pumping type. And while we love to pick on you, your energy is contagious; your excitement is thrilling. It’s because of you, we get excited to put on this event every year.
Fall, slip—whoops! Splat in the mud. You’re the dirtiest of the bunch and yet seem to laugh the most. You’re the one tip-toeing across the Lily Pads only to make it a few steps before you find yourself swimming the rest of the way. Don’t bother trying to contain your belly-giggles while moving across Snow & Steady because, we’ll tell you what, you, Giggler. You’re having more fun than anyone, including those splashing down Slip, Slide ‘n’ Die…for time. You are our inspiration.
So you signed up for Tough Mountain Challenge back in February thinking, “Oh, I have plenty of time to get in shape.” Then winter ended, followed by spring, and then all of the sudden we’re five days out and you decide to hit the treadmill. Once? Yeah, that’ll do it. Until you come around the corner to Obstacle 9 and you realize how it got its name. Luckily for you, we aren’t going to shame you for making it up the steep face on all fours. Instead we’ll reward you with a nice glass of cold water at the top. You’re welcome. Thanks for playing. But the best part about you, Crawler, is watching your face as you cross the finish line. No one looks forward to those last few steps as much as you. And it feels pretty damn good when you do, eh?
We get it. It’s drier, cleaner, and way easier just to watch your friends conquer the mountain. After all, spectating is free, so why the fresh hell not? Uploading to Instagram, hopping on a Chondola ($15 lift ticket to see it all? Yes, please.), and drinking beers with your buddies at the end? It’s your kind of day. And as they day gets longer, the sun gets hotter, and the boredom sits in—remind yourself of this moment when you go to sign up for next year’s Tough Mountain Challenge on July 25, 2015. While watching from the sidelines is fun, wouldn’t you want to get a little mud on your face?